So where the hell does it go....

I can`t seem to track what I spend my money on.

I don`t do drugs (period. tylenol is a wild night for me). I rarely drink and never to excess. I don`t drive so no gas bill pour moi.

So I thought, okay, I know there are fixed versus variable expenses, so I just need to determine my fixed expenses.

FIXED EXPENSES

• Rent - $928.00
• TTC Pass (aka overpriced Piece o`Crap user fee) - $109.00
• Mobile - $65.00
• Gym membership - $62.00
• Rogers bill (home phone, cable and internet) - $145.00
• Tenant Insurance - $21.00
• Personal Trainer Fee - $62.00
• Bank Fees - $13.00
• ADD and CI Insurance - $9.00

I couldn`t begin to tell you where my money goes on the variable ones, but they include:

• Groceries
• Books
• Dining Out
• iTunes
• Toiletries
• Clothes
• Shoes
• Magazines
• Credit Card
• Movie Passes (I buy gift certificates in bulk)

Every month, I`m basically broke and not quite freaking the hell out over it. I don`t know how much I`m spending on my variable expenses, only that I am spending way too much.

I can`t seem to save any money and I`m unhappy about that.

Time to fight an unpalatable future and learn to plan, I guess!

My next step is to establish my goals and figure out how the hell I can achieve them.

GAME ON!

Debt is the slavery of the free!

You said it, Publilius Syrus!

Pretty sad that I had to have a dead Roman (assyrian) ex-slave tell me that.

Being a 30something insecure bibliophile with shopaholism and poor impulse control, I have never quite figured how I got myself into this situation in the first place. I'm not horribly in debt (any more). I only ever had one real debt - student loans. (boo! hiss! you are evil like small yappy-type dogs!)

It took me nearly four years after finishing university, but I paid off my student loans. I learned to live on cash only, because credit is like a cheap drunk - immediate buzz, horrific hangover. I have one credit card with a low limit because I don't trust myself to have more than that. I don't even have an overdraft!

I'm just broke. Constantly, seemingly-irreparably broke. I just can't budget. I'm a spendthrift. Pennywise and poundfoolish.

I am so *bleeping* fed-up with money-stress and money-depression.

It's time to grow up now. If I want the things I want, then I need to learn how to budget, how to save and HOW TO LEARN IMPULSE CONTROL! Just because there is a $9 copy of Tatler in stock at Indigo doesn't mean I have to buy it. "Just because..." purchases have taken control of my life. But I am wresting control of this out-of-control car that I seem to be trapped in away from My Insecure Inner Voice before I get into trouble.

I got hooked on a couple of money bloggers and thought, hey, if this is helping them learn then dammit, it can help me! Praise to my faves Single Broke Female and HollyIsStoppingShopping for giving me the guts to do this!

Hopefully, by tracking my progress I can go from being Fiscally Bound to Fiscally Unbound.

After all, as Disraeli once said, "Action may not always bring happiness...but there is no happiness without action."

Game on!